Dragonfire

After the worst first three stories a season has ever had to endure, at least ‘Dragonfire’ was an improvement. It’s saying something about 1987 Doctor Who that this is clearly the best story of the four, especially as it still includes some pretty dodgy bits including the Doctor dangling over a cliff holding on to his umbrella for no reason at all apart from trying to make a joke on the term ‘cliff-hanger’.

Edward Peel as Kane

We have a great villain at least – Edward Peel’s Kane is chilling in more ways than one. The dragon, apart from the legs, looks pretty good too and some of the ice sets look very good. Sadly some look very plastic but we can’t expect perfection can we, especially not in this season, which is clearly the worst in the shows history – that I’ve viewed that is, I hope it doesn’t get worse than this! The death scene of Kane exposing himself to sunlight and melting is one of the most impressive effects seen in Doctor Who in the first 24 years, I have to tip my head to the production team for that. Very much like Indiana Jones (Raiders of the Lost Ark).

The story is at least darker than the previous tale, and it is helped by the score provided by Dominic

Bonnie Langford, Tony Selby, Sophie Aldred and Sylvester McCoy.

Glynn, who provided the music for much of the previous season and seemed to have a much better idea of what was required than Keff McCulloch. It’s very grand, a great use of organ sounds.

We have the return of one of the best characters from Season 23 in Glitz, played by Tony Selby. He slips right back into character very easily as the loveably rogue, and you can’t help but think he would have worked well as a companion, especially with Colin Baker’s Doctor. That would have worked very well. He works well with McCoy as well, but as a pair I think the Sixth Doctor and Glitz would have taken the show somewhere new and exciting.

Ace's room on Iceworld

We have a new writer on ‘Dragonfire’, Ian Briggs. He turns in three solid episodes which are paced very nicely. The move to three-part stories is a good one, and strange that it wasn’t trialled before. I suspect the way that the budget was drawn up is why – John Nathan Turner had a budget decreed by the BBC for three stories over 14 episodes. Two four-parters and a six parter. He split the budget into two-three parters by using the OB budget for one and the studio budget for the other, hence ‘Delta and the Bannerman’ was almost completely OB save one short TARDIS scene, and ‘Dragonfire’ was completely studio-bound. This pattern would continue for the following two years.

The dragon reveals the treasure.

A story like ‘Dragonfire’ could only have been done in studio. Although some parts of the frostly set are rather dodgy, generally the feel is conveyed even if you see polystyrene here there and everywhere.  This is the final story for Mel (Bonnie Langford) and the first story for Ace (Sophie Aldred).

Kane's face peels away :)

Unfortunately the writers and script editor never had a mind to do something with Mel. We hadn’t seen much of her before this series and they could have revealed more about the character, introduced a few twists, cut back on the screaming but it seems nobody wanted to sadly. In the end we get her screaming her lungs out at every opportunity and being rather generic for the rest of the time. Cartmel appears to have wanted as much of a clean slate as possible to work from, and so the introduction of Ace is the first big step in the changing of the series.

Sophie Aldred adds a great bouncy (but different) energy to the show, being somewhat aggressive and having a penchant for blowing things up. However, it’s very hard to buy that Ace is only 16 years old, even if Sophie Aldred does look youthful for her age. Which she does.

Ian Briggs does leave a few holes in the script. The mother of the little girl Stella, (Stella is a child that runs around and hides for much of the story, very incidental but a nice touch) seems to not care about the ship with all the others shoppers on it being destroyed or consider the possibility Stella might be on board. That was a bit odd I thought. Kane’s been waiting in Iceworld for 3000 years and couldn’t solve the puzzle of the Drogonfire? Pu – lease! But you know, this is Doctor Who, right?

Far from perfect, but far from a turkey too.

6.5/10

Delta and the Bannermen

Don Henderson as Gavrok

I am lost for words. Questions arise after ‘Delta and the Bannermen’ such as, is it worse than ‘Time and the Rani’? I mean honestly, this three episodes is best forgotten as one of the laziest Doctor Who productions ever. Perhaps it is not quite the depths of McCoy’s first tale, not quite, but after a decent first episode this story descends into farce, and not the entertaining kind. In fact it is pretty boring and bad, with background music worse than ‘Paradise Towers’, by the same guy, Keff McCulloch.

I don’t mind the use of rock and roll music, and the location was rather

Burton rallies the troops.

nice, but this is the most lightweight Doctor Who story ever made, with a couple of shocking deaths thrown in for what reason I am not sure, maybe the writer, Malcolm Kohll, hoped people would take the story seriously if he murdered a bus load of tourists and then moved on quickly after a brief Mel scream.

It’s not fair to Bonnie Langford to go on about her screaming. She didn’t direct the thing or write the thing after all. Mel has a good positive energy ruined by her screaming at the most insignificant things. Delta starts off with a guest appearance by Ken Dodd, who later gets shot in the back by Gavrock (Don Henderson) who spends his time spitting and eating raw meat.

There are some awful examples of dialogue in this story. Sylvester McCoy struggles over a number of lines, but that’s not his fault, the lines are purely to explain plot points and Kohll and Cartmel clearly spent no time going over them and considering that people had to say the lines.

Who is Gavrock and the Bannermen? Who is Delta and the Chimerons? Why do we care? Oh, we don’t! I like comedy in Doctor Who, honestly I do, but season 24’s comedy is not funny,

Sara Griffiths with Sylvester McCoy

quirky or endearing, but smacks of true desperation. Whereas I felt that the director and design rather than the author were responsible for ‘Paradise Towers’ turning out far poorer than it could have been, here the issues start with the scripting, the lack of detail, the lack of strong character  writing(with a couple of exceptions, Burton (Richard Burton) is wonderful for example) and pure laziness.

The Doctor runs up to Goronwy (Hugh Lloyd, a wonderful veteran actor by the way) and says we need this and that and this, he’s never met

the guy before, Goronwy replies with, ‘Ok, come this way. I’m Goronwy by the way.’ Or something to that effect and simplicity. Huh? I mean come on that’s purely amateur stuff from Kohll and Cartmel should have been all over it like a rash. Ok, this season was cobbled together very quickly and maybe there just wasn’t time, but this is what is left for Doctor Who fans to watch FOREVER. They rehearsed this stuff too, surely the actors could have taken a few liberties.

Stubby Kaye and Morgan Deare make rather fine guest appearances, so that’s something, and I thought Ken Dodd was rather amusing too. The effects went from good to dreadful. The space ship landing on Earth looks like what it is – a cut out picture lowered to a spot on the picture. No doubt it was a shot that took little time and money to achieve, and I understand that these things were in short supply, but after seeing what was possible in the previous season, it is still very disappointing.

Stubby Kaye and Morgan Deare

We have a whole back story the writer and script editor decided was irrelevant. Why the ‘Bannermen’? Because they had a sort of banner on their back? Why would eating Chimeron food turn the very wooden Billy, involved in the second-least-convincing romance in Doctor Who history with Delta (also played in a very wooden way) into a Chimeron? It makes no sense at all. Clever ending by boosting the Chimeron Princess’s song to knock out the Bannermen, I liked that. And the last shot featuring Goronwy was good. Didn’t mind most of the first episode, although when the Doctor has to comfort Ray (Sara Griffiths) McCoy appears to have no idea what he should be doing.

It looks cheap at times, the story needed a lot of work on it, it’s lightweight fluff because they had 3 episodes to fill.

2/10

Paradise Towers

The Doctor and Mel meet the Red Kangs

Steve Wyatt’s first Doctor Who tale, the rather odd ‘Paradise Towers’, suffers from a number of issues especially where the production doesn’t really deliver on the concept the way it could have be realised. It seems to me a few alterations here and there and the story could have been quite good, almost watchable! But instead we have a director and guest villain who have not taken it as seriously as it should have been taken, corridors which are far too wide and these ridiculous ‘cleaners’ – robotic machines that are killing people where the actors all have to grab the claw and ram it against their neck to make it look like they are threatened. Very embarrassing stuff.

The Red Kangs

The direction is without pace or urgency at times. Nick Mallet’s second go as director has brought along with it some of the issues of his first outing, ‘The Mysterious Planet’, which lacked energy at time. It’s a very different story, and I think with a different director and perhaps designer on hand, it could have been a lot better. Some elements are good. The casting is a bit up and down. Richard Briers chose a way to play the Chief Caretaker which was amusing, but when he became a zombie-fied Kroagnon, the Great Architect, I’m afraid he lost me completely, and it seems everyone else. But the issue stretches beyond Richard Briers, who was after all a very good actor.

The Chief Caretaker meets.... what is that?

Actors continuously make the comic choice rather than the straight one. It becomes monotonous. The concept of the rule book was under-played mostly, except for the scene when the Doctor instructs the care takers to let him escape which was beyond silly, a weak piece of writing. Andrew Cartmel from the start wanted to make the show darker, but setting a story in some dark corridors does not maketh a story dark. There’s no real sense of menace conveyed. Down in the basement is where the mind of Kroagnon lives for three episodes. It’s represented by a lot of smoke and some colourful neon lights.

Tabby and Tilda are ready for dinner!

Then we have the great pool in the sky. It’s a pretty glum pool to be honest. Mel keeps talking it up even when she gets there and it clearly sucks. It’s just someone’s rooftop pool in London. I wanted to know more about the community, where they came from, who they were. I respect the choice of the writer not to reveal all, because I don’t think you always need to, but the fact that a whole community was living in Paradise Towers was interesting. It appeared they never left the towers – weren’t they able too. Where was this building? In the middle of nowhere, or in a city? These are the sort of questions I really wanted answered.
Whilst Richard Briers is best forgotten, and Howard Cooke who played Pex was pretty dreadful, I loved both Tabby and Tilda, the two old ladies who want to eat Mel (who again screamed at absolutely nothing) played by Elizabeth Spriggs and Brenda Bruce. They seemed to get the story, and it seems one of Wyatt’s complaints (see the DVD) is that actors and directors weren’t getting his vision – hence the miscasting of Pex who is neither funny nor convincing. I also really enjoyed Clive Merrison as the Deputy Chief Caretaker. Yes, he also camped it up but not in a way which made me think I was watching an actor camping it up, if that makes any sense.

A cleaner

Sylvester McCoy was certainly better and more assured this time around, however there were several awkward moments, especially in exchanges with the Red Kangs in episode one where everything looked very uncomfortable. Perhaps it’s the comic nature of the other performances, but he doesn’t seem to be pushing the comedy basket nearly as hard in ‘Paradise Towers’. Thank goodness for that!

Pex leads the possessed Chief Caretaker to his doom...

The Kangs are an interesting creation, girl gangs roaming the towers and playing games. The costumes are good, if extremely 1980s. The costumes for the whole story are very well done. However again I have to complain that they Kangs all look carefully  designed and constructed, they don’t look dirty at all, despite the towers being so filthy.
Finally, the music deserves special mention, because it is so hideous. Keff McCulloch, ye of a very strange name, has an 80s sound but not good 80s. It’s so loud and jarring throughout. It’s utterly dreadful and I think not since ‘The Leisure Hive’ has the music been so noticeable. In fact ‘Paradise Towers’ might be even worse, making it the all time worst! It’s an offence to anyone who has ears.
In summary, ‘Paradise Towers’ is a story which with more time and work put in, and much stronger and deliberate direction, could have been a lot better than what we got. BUT – far superior to ‘Time and the Rani’.
4/10

Time and the Rani

So, like it or not we get a new Doctor in a revamped series where things are quite different to the previous few years. Enter Andrew Cartmel, the new script editor who would bring a swag of new writers and ideas to the show. However, season 24 starts with ‘Time and the Rani’, a script commissioned for ‘safety’ reasons by John Nathan-Turner by Pip and Jane Baker which was originally planned for Colin Baker.

If I thought ‘The Twin Dilemma’ was bad, I was even more dismayed by this one. I don’t honestly know where to start. Pip and Jane Baker seem to get worse with every script they write.

The new Doctor wakes up.

In fairness there was a lot of pulling and prodding from Cartmel on this one and in the end it wasn’t the script or type of story the Bakers wanted to write. And it’s not the sort of I want to watch either. But I did.

Let’s start with our new Doctor, Scottish actor Sylvester McCoy. What’s the hell is he doing in this story? This has to be the least convincing performance by an actor playing the Doctor ever. He does do anything with conviction, and his performance is like a man desperately trying stuff in order to find what works. He plays the spoons on Kate O’Mara’s bust for god’s sake! What was that

Mel and a Lakertian

doing there? I liked the mis-remembered proverbs, but apart from that I found the rest of the performance very very unconvincing. Colin Baker started by being a jerk, a coward and strangling Peri. All principally three things that are instantly unlikeable. However – he did them all with conviction!

The Rani dresses up as Mel.

Pip and Jane Baker wrote a script full of pointlessness, gags and filler. We have five minutes wasted to the Doctor choosing his new costume, a giant brain behind a door trying to work out the formula with help from scientists, most from Earth strangely enough and stuck in booths, and then we are subjected to Kate O’Mara as the Rani pretending to be Mel by putting on a wig and flouncing around. What is this shite?

Mel. Bonnie Langford. For crying out loud she has a fantastic scream but the writers and directors don’t need to make her scream so much, it’s ridiculous. ‘Oh look, a rock!’

Donald Pickering and a Tetrap

‘AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh!’ it’s monotonous.

Why the need to see a regeneration? I mean, Colin didn’t want to come back to do the scene (or possibly the story) and who could possibly blame him, so why not reboot the series some time in the future after the regeneration. We get it, the Doctor can change bodies. The wig and the fall from the exercise bike (if that’s what is really supposed to have happened) thanks to some sort of meteorite storm it’s all cringe worthy.

The 'ball' speical effect.

Lakertia was supposed to be a green and verdant forest. Then first-time director to the series Andrew Morgan though yet another quarry would make a better location. And there are a whole lot of people living in this quarry. seriously. How do people imagine life on a planet which is just a quarry? No trees or animals to speak of? NOT ONE shown in the story. There were a couple of lakes though, maybe they are full of fish.

The Tetraps were never going to be well-realised. Human-sized bats with four eyes who were pretty much the comic relief from…. the comic relief. The movement of the mouths in no way coincides with the lines spoken. It’s dreadful, embarrassing stuff. The whole thing is embarrassing. One of the worst stories I can remember.

This is the brain. It's point? I dunno.

There is a great special effect of a spinning ball that captures people spins them around into the air and then comes down to Earth and explodes. It looks fantastic but again, it’s such a convoluted concept. Why wouldn’t you just set normal landmines?

The music is quite on the nose, although I don’t mind the new version of the theme music or the opening credits. The new logo however is awful – two pieces done in completely different styles which don’t go together. It doesn’t bode well for the next few stories.

1/10